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25-May-2020 07:26

The result is her book, “Future Sex,” to be published Oct. Along the way, when she would talk about what she was working on, “certain editors — male editors — have commented on my ‘memoir,’” said Ms. “An editor said to me, ‘It seems like every woman has to write about this at some point.’ Um, yeah, because it’s one of the most important things about being alive right now?”It requires only a glimpse at bookstore windows to notice the phalanx of young authors challenging the idea that dating and sex aren’t serious enough topics for certain kinds of writers to engage with.In considering questions like why she was not married or almost married (and why many of her friends who wanted to be married were also not married), Ms.Witt, who has written for the London Review of Books and The New Yorker, and is a contributing editor to T: The New York Times Style Magazine, recalled thinking that “technology had changed.These writers have been greeted with a great deal of attention, yet there remains the anxious sense that to write about such topics is to risk forfeiting gravitas. Witt’s book is among the most personal of the bunch, offering up her perceptions of (and adventures in) the worlds of internet dating, internet pornography, orgasmic meditation and the kink industry. Witt’s book is her willingness to confess her unhappiness.“You can tell yourself different stories about why things are happening,” Ms. “I knew the story that I was telling myself — that I would eventually meet someone and get married — felt really false.And also, it just wasn’t happening.”And so, she headed to the West Coast to try to figure out some other way to be content, if it turns out that the romantic-comedy concept of love, with its perfect, permanent, tea-for-two ending, was not to be hers.“Part of why I wanted to write the book was that everything I read told me that my life was a question of luck and chance, and if it didn’t work out, if I didn’t meet somebody,” she said.Witt began writing, she was nervous and reticent, and wrote in the third person.

Their books are a departure from the raw, unfiltered confessional writing that the internet seems to have fostered in recent years: inward-focused pieces on abortions and addictions and affairs we have gotten used to clicking on, or past.

“The thing is, I don’t feel like I massively do that,” she said. I don’t feel like I’m someone who writes about dating.”Yet the impetus for her most recent book, “The Lonely City,” came when Ms.

Laing, in her mid-30s — “an age at which female aloneness … Laing’s primary subject is not herself, but rather artists like Edward Hopper and Andy Warhol and Henry Darger, for whom, she argues, loneliness was everywhere. Laing herself appears in flashes all through the narrative, in cameos of solitude, staring into neighbors’ windows, skimming the personal ads on Craigslist, going on first dates with the men she finds there, but never any second dates.

Her past books, including “The Purity Myth” and “Full Frontal Feminism,” have been essayistic and polemical.

But she, like so many of her feminist icons, invokes that old mantra about the personal and the political.“As a culture, we’re only comfortable with women’s sexual stories being told from a male point of view,” Ms. “It’s not that we’re not comfortable with women’s sexuality — we see women’s sexuality plastered all over ads and movies and television shows.“The big hurdle was my parents reading stuff, because we had maintained this fiction about what my life was that was really comfortable for everybody.Which was not really talking about how dating is.”When Ms.“This is a moment when people like to take pictures of their perfect lives, and I don’t think there’s much pressure on a perfect life to be anything but old-fashioned and conventional,” he said. Stein’s observations is an animating spirit throughout Ms. at Yale in the joint program of Comparative Literature and Film and Media Studies, is an academic by training, and uses the comprehensive research and dispassionate analytic style that she has honed in school. ” only to realize with horror how absurd it was that, every inch the self-respecting, educated writer and thinker, she still craved guidance from a man on this most individual of questions.



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Though over 8 million people live in the Big Apple, so far, the 20-something singer has come up empty-handed in the love department. It’s easy to romanticize dating in New York City as some exciting cross between “Sex in the City” and “Friends.” However, according to my friend’s Facebook page, the reality isn’t all that glamorous.… continue reading »


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